Robert (wishfire) wrote in wichita_ks_poly,
Robert
wishfire
wichita_ks_poly

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On Topic

Since I posted the topic I will start with why I choose this path for me.....

I have always wanted something of a poly relationship but never knew of poly....


My ideal is a triad... Myself and two wives... And as we seldom get things the way we want them. I am learning to have a larger veiw on things....

My love and I have always been swingers... Often times inviting other people into our bed for some fun... A few years ago a coulpe of friends of mine moved back here from Tucson, AZ. We started doing things in a foursome respect... I have always loved the girl of the other couple (I will call her J and him C.) Anyway C, J and my love grew really close and I was feeling guilty for what I felt for J.

I handled everything all wrong as I felt threatened by what was developing betwen the others. As time went on I started getting left out of the loop... I had been a complete dick so I can't put all the blame on them... My love and I had the agreement of the other had to be there for anything sexual to happen.. Long story short... I had been a dick, they grew away from me, and grew a closer bond with my love, and ended up fooling around behind my back... (And it was only after this point that I heard for the first time Polyamory....Wish I had known of it sooner so that I would have known it was ok to love more than one in the way I do.)... My love almost left me entirely for all this.. The last time we almost ended I looked at her and told her to choose to be with who she wishes to be with and if any of them can not handle it it is on them....

So now My love and I are together, and have been married now for five years, My love is with C, her husband of now two years. And my love was with J and is hoping for things to grow back together...
Now I love all of them very much, C in a platonic nature. However I have had a hard time with everything that has gone on and find it hard to deal with C and J.... I do, on occasion deal with them and I think I do good when I am around them... The hardest part there is loving someone and not feeling that love returned.... And as such I have a hard time in showing my love...

I guess the reasons I choose this path is because I am capable of loving more, and partly for my wife whom I love very much and do not wish to lose... But the bigger reason is because I am capable of loving more...
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